I resigned

I know people think that I was crazy. I made a very, very drastic decision to resign. With no backup plan and no savings. Why? I don't know. It's just that I was really not happy months before I resigned. With the new policy that lecturers could be transferred anytime to anywhere, it didn't help either. I am nearly 40 years old and I still didn't know where to live? I know I had to make a decision fast. 

My colleagues, were of course surprised. They knew I was travelling to and fro Shah Alam - Seremban everyday. But they didn't know I would take such a decision to end everything. Especially when I didn't have any backup plan. They were worried that I wouldn't have any money to eat, I supposed, hahaha.

It's true. I didn't have any backup plan. All I knew was that I could no longer work there because I was not happy. And when you were dragging your feet to go to work every morning, that shows something was definitely wrong right? I chose to address the issue. I talked to Mr H. After some time, he finally agreed. I am going to list down here the reasons why I left a full time job with a fixed salary, and then you can be the judge, am I crazy? :P

1. I missed my prayers, very often.
I was always caught in the jam, in between Putrajaya to Shah Alam. That would be about time for Maghrib prayer. Some suggested why didn't I do jamak prayers, to perform Zuhur and Asar before I leave the office. Hmmm... what if Allah decides to combine by blessings too? I just couldn't accept that. Some of them said, well you can always show the respect for Maghrib by praying while driving. Seriously? While I was complaining and grumbling about other drivers in the jam??? Hahaha. Better not. To me prayers are the time when I submit myself completely to Allah. So how do I submit if I worry about others, especially the traffic at that time of praying? 

I was also stressed in the morning, at the time of going to work because my class would start at 8, so just imagine what time do I have to push off from Shah Alam? My big boss told me to slot in my class to 10 a.m. so that I didn't have to rush every morning. But choosing classes that start at 10 a.m. would mean that I had to have classes until late in the evening, probably 6 p.m. It's the policy, if you start early then you can leave early but if you start late then you have to leave after 6 p.m. With the traffic, usually at Putrajaya, I would usually arrive home after 8 p.m. :(

2. I want to be a good wife
Because of the stress I had, travelling everyday, I would be very moody when I got home. Pity Mr H. And unfair to him too. Every husband expects to see smile from their wife right. Well, he was not getting any smile from me, hahaha. I was also holding the post as a Coordinator, so I had tonnes of work to settle before I went home. The result? Sulking everyday. Oh, Mr H please forgive me for I had wronged you before. :( I could not stand to see my husband, excited to tell me stories about what happened to him that day, but then half way, I fell asleep, hihihi.

3. My health
Deteriorating. Because I was always tired. With the workload and travelling, I just couldn't take it anymore. I even fell asleep while driving. This could lead to accidents. And if I did involve in an accident, would anybody sympathize with my situation?

So that were all the reasons that made me come to a decision to resign. No more transfers! Hahaha. It was difficult of course to survive at first, our financial standing was not stable. Mr H helped a lot to pick up the slacks. I have few part time jobs and also started to write. But I have something that money can't buy. Peace. And I would never trade it with anything. 


2 comments:

  1. Truly understand you. Best decision in right circumstances.

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    Replies
    1. I had to come to such decision. Maybe I was crazy. But I am in peace now ☺

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